Chapter 32: No Vitality

“When a man reaches middle age, he has no choice but to soak goji berries in a thermos. Yet goji berries cannot stop the years from passing—so angelica root must be added. Even angelica root cannot withstand the blade of time, so add ginseng and deer antler with a shot of liquor. But ginseng and deer antler don’t fill the stomach, so kidneys and vitality pills must join the brew.”

Inside the guard booth, Fat Wang recited this little rhyme as he expertly brewed himself a cup of goji and angelica tea. After all, age was catching up with him, and whenever he had a moment, Fat Wang paid special attention to his health. Especially this goji and angelica tea—he drank a pot every day. Not for any other reason, simply for the sake of his well-being.

Blowing gently on the rim of his cup, Fat Wang was just about to sip his healthful brew when he saw Chang Yu walk into the booth, brow furrowed and a troubled look on his face.

“What’s wrong, Yu? Lost your soul somewhere?” Fat Wang stretched out his hand and waved five fingers in front of Chang Yu’s eyes.

“Nothing much, Wang,” Chang Yu replied, plopping onto a stool with his head down and eyes averted. “There’s just something I can’t figure out.”

“If you can’t figure it out, just let it go—don’t get wound up about it,” Fat Wang advised. “Look at Newton, wasn’t he a great man? Got too obsessed with things, ended up getting upset, and stopped studying physics just to delve into theology. In the end, his reputation was ruined.”

With his thermos in hand, Fat Wang was as calm as ever, neither hurried nor anxious, as if he held all his happiness in that cup. To him, this thermos was his whole world.

“Wang, there’s something I have to tell you,” Chang Yu remembered the resignation letter he’d written the day before, and his expression darkened further.

“Broke up again?” Fat Wang grinned. Every time Chang Yu’s matchmaking failed, Fat Wang teased him like this. In total, he’d teased him this way at least twenty times.

“No, it’s something else… I’ve decided to resign. I came today to say goodbye.” Chang Yu lowered his head, unable to meet Fat Wang’s eyes.

He had been working as a security guard in this booth for two years, and Fat Wang had looked after him more times than he could count. If Chang Yu had to say who he’d miss most after resigning, it would be Fat Wang, no question. Though his time here hadn’t been long, he could see that Fat Wang genuinely cared for him.

Suddenly, the air grew heavy, and the usually talkative Fat Wang fell silent. Chang Yu glanced up and caught a fleeting sadness in Fat Wang’s eyes.

After a long pause, Fat Wang forced a smile and asked, “Did you find a new job?”

Chang Yu could tell Fat Wang didn’t want to see him go. But nothing lasts forever—no one can accompany you through your entire life. Sometimes, partings are inevitable.

“Yes, I found a new job. The pay’s much better than here.” Chang Yu managed a smile as he spoke. He didn’t tell Fat Wang what kind of job it was; the bureau didn’t allow him to disclose it.

Fat Wang patted Chang Yu’s shoulder. “That’s great. I’ve always told you to find a better job. Being a security guard doesn’t pay much, and you’ve got real talent. Your future is long, and maybe now two thousand yuan a month is enough for you to scrape by. But one day you’ll get married and have children, and then you’ll see—there are so many expenses for a family.”

“Two thousand yuan won’t be enough. You won’t even be able to afford kindergarten fees for your child. I’m really happy you’ve wised up and found a new job.”

“If you’re free after work, let’s go have a proper drink—my treat this time!”

“Deal, let’s have a good drink together,” Chang Yu agreed readily.

“By the way, besides saying goodbye, I also planned to hand in my resignation letter today.” Chang Yu took the letter from his pocket and placed it on the table.

Fat Wang picked up the letter and tucked it into his own pocket. “Leave this to me. My wife has good connections with the company’s HR director, so she can hand it in for you and get the paperwork done quickly.”

“But my advice is to wait a few days before you submit it—payday is just around the corner. If you resign now, you’ll lose this month’s salary. Wait until you’ve got your pay, then resign. That way, you don’t miss a thing.”

“Alright, let’s do it that way. Thank you, Wang, and thank your wife, too,” Chang Yu replied gratefully.

“But that also means you’ll have to work until payday,” Fat Wang considered. “Otherwise, if you skip work, the fines will eat up your entire salary.”

“I understand.” Chang Yu patted his chest in assurance.

...

At night, the open-air food stalls on the street were always bustling with life. These stalls were a magical place. People from all over gathered there—white-collar workers, government employees, migrant laborers, students—all kinds of professions mingled, each discussing their own lives. Normally, you’d seldom see such a mix of people gathered together, but at the night market, it was an everyday sight.

A few days later, Chang Yu and Fat Wang returned to this familiar place.

“Wang, I toast you!” Chang Yu raised his glass full of beer. “Last time you refused to drink, but this time, you can’t say no.”

“Last time I helped you move, I had to drive—couldn’t drink,” Fat Wang replied, clinking glasses and downing his beer in one gulp.

Seeing Fat Wang drink so heartily, Chang Yu naturally refused to be outdone and drained his own glass.

With the alcohol in his system, Chang Yu started to speak from the heart. “If life hadn’t forced my hand, I honestly would’ve liked to keep working with you. Parting ways with you is really hard for me.”

Fat Wang took a deep breath, his eyes turning red. “I don’t want to see you go, either, but I’ve seen too many hellos and goodbyes in my time. Life is like an endless marathon. When you run through the forest park like Forrest Gump, many deer come and run alongside you for a while. When they’re tired, they leave your side. The old deer leave, and new ones join you. That’s how it is—each herd of deer takes turns accompanying you on your journey.”

“What’s most frightening in a long marathon isn’t exhaustion, but loneliness. No deer can stay with you from start to finish. In the end, you’re the only one who completes the journey with yourself. But the fortunate thing is, because of these deer, you have the courage to run farther than you ever thought possible. For you, I’m just one of the old deer. After I leave, you’ll meet new deer who’ll continue the journey in my place.”

Fat Wang’s words brought a lump to Chang Yu’s throat. He told Fat Wang, “Even if we can’t be colleagues anymore, I’ll always see you as my big brother. We may not see each other every day, but we can still meet up now and then. I’ll never forget the days we spent together.”

“You’re not just a deer who leaves when tired—our days together aren’t over, and I’ll never lose touch with you.”

“Right, we’ll never lose touch,” Fat Wang replied, his expression seemingly relieved, but in truth tinged with sorrow.

Time washes away everything, including friendship once held dear.

Fat Wang didn’t tell Chang Yu that in his decade-plus career as a security guard, eight colleagues had left before him. If you counted Chang Yu, he was the ninth. Every colleague who joined the booth ended up leaving within a year or two, simply because the salary was too meager to live on.

Those eight had all kept in touch in the beginning, but as time passed, the friendships gradually faded. Now, none of them reached out to Fat Wang anymore.

Sensing Fat Wang’s sadness, Chang Yu quickly changed the subject. “I’ve always envied your life, Wang. You have a big house, a fancy car, two hundred properties, and a beautiful wife. But me? I’m all alone—no house, no car, no money. All I have is a so-called dream.”

Fat Wang gave Chang Yu a sidelong glance and spoke with the wisdom of someone who’d been there. “You don’t need to envy me. No one’s life is perfect. In many people’s eyes, my life is what they pursue, but they don’t know that I also envy them.”

“My wife and I have been married for nearly twenty years, and we still don’t have a child. It’s driven us to the brink of collapse. We’ve sought doctors everywhere, seen every famous physician, even foreign experts. We’ve spent more money on treatment than I can count, but whether it’s doctors here or abroad, they all say it’s impossible for us to have a child.”

“You have no idea how much I envy other families when I see them laughing together with their child on the street. Maybe they struggle financially, but they have a child—a complete family! I’d give up all my wealth for the child I’ve always dreamed of.”

“So while they envy my life, I’m also envying theirs—their lives, their happiness.”

Chang Yu was stunned by Fat Wang’s words. The meaning behind them struck him like a bolt of lightning.

“Wang, did any doctor ever tell you why you and your wife can’t have children?” Even knowing the question might hurt, Chang Yu couldn’t help but ask.

Overcome by emotion and emboldened by drink, Fat Wang finally let his sorrow show and shed the tears of a grown man.

“The doctors said… my wife is perfectly healthy. The problem is me. My seed has no vitality…”