Chapter 82: A Terrifying Dream

That night, Chang Yu had a long and terrifying dream.

He dreamed he had turned into a pregnant woman, lying in a hospital bed, giving birth. The hospital ceiling was pristine white, the glaring lights so bright he could barely keep his eyes open, and several doctors with grave expressions clustered around him.

His mood was abysmal, sweat soaked his entire body, and the bedding beneath him was so drenched it could have been wrung out. Gritting his teeth, focusing all his strength, he desperately tried to deliver the life inside him, yet every attempt ended in failure.

Slowly, his vision blurred, a buzzing filled his ears, and even his consciousness became hazy. Everything before his eyes twisted and overlapped, his breathing growing quick and shallow. The doctors shouted at him, their voices hoarse, but he could only catch fragments of their words.

He strained to listen, trying to make out what they were saying, and finally understood:

“Come on! Just a little more, you’re almost there!”

“Keep going! A bit more effort! Chang Yu, you’re the best!”

For reasons he couldn't fathom, these words only made his anger surge.

I’m clearly a man! Why am I giving birth here?

He drew in a deep breath and tensed his abdomen with all his might. With a sudden “thud,” he felt something leave his body in an instant.

A newborn’s first cry echoed through the delivery room. The doctors hurriedly wrapped the little life in a blanket. After skillfully lifting a corner to check, one doctor bent down to his ear with a congratulatory smile and said,

“Congratulations, it’s a big, healthy boy.”

Upon hearing this, Chang Yu’s eyes rolled back in fury and he fainted on the spot.

The next morning, Chang Yu was jolted awake by pain.

“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!”

His abdomen throbbed with a twisting pain, as if a hundred elephants were stomping back and forth over him. The agony was so intense he could barely breathe. In a matter of moments, sweat drenched him as though he had just been pulled from water.

Honestly, in his short life, he had never experienced such excruciating pain. Not even the time he’d almost been gutted by the old lady with the cat’s face had hurt this much.

Could it be acute appendicitis?

Remembering the symptoms he’d heard of, Chang Yu became even more certain of his suspicion.

This is bad! I need to call 911 right now!

With trembling hands, he fumbled for the phone he’d left by his pillow the night before, clutching it tightly.

Living alone had its drawbacks—if anything happened, there was no one to help.

He tried to dial for help, but his hand shook and the phone dropped to the floor.

Staring blankly at his fallen phone, Chang Yu was nearly in tears.

Summoning all his strength, he tried to sit up and retrieve it—but when he glanced down at his stomach, he froze.

His previously flat, toned abdomen was now mysteriously swollen, just like a woman in her tenth month of pregnancy.

Wait… tenth month?

A hazy sense of dread crept over him as he recalled the previous night’s dream.

Could it be… he was really pregnant?

He stared at his swollen belly and the thing squirming inside, his expression a mix of confusion and terror—just like those innocent girls ruined by scoundrels.

“What… what on earth is happening?”

He gazed at the thing in his belly, writhing continuously, and fell into deep thought.

Wasn’t it just a dream? Why did waking up leave me like this?

Recalling the bizarre process of giving birth in his dream, Chang Yu felt his life was now in its greatest crisis.

Suddenly, the thing inside his belly lurched violently.

His skin trembled like a bowl of jelly being shaken, wobbling side to side. A wave of pain even more intense than before swept over him, making his vision go black as he collapsed onto the bed.

For a moment, he felt as if he had been transported right back into last night’s dream.

The white ceiling, the blinding light streaming through the window, and his sweat-soaked body.

“Ah!”

His belly churned violently, and he let out a howl of agony.

Having gone through this once in his dream, he instantly understood: he was about to give birth.

He inhaled deeply, focused his strength, gritted his teeth, and pushed with everything he had to deliver whatever was in his stomach. But despite repeated attempts, he failed, only managing to inflict more pain upon himself.

“Aaahhh!”

Sweat streaming down his face, neck stretched out, he screamed from the depths of his soul—at that moment, he looked just like the desperate women on TV in labor.

Finally, after relentless effort, he felt a sudden release, followed by a long, muffled sound as he passed gas.

The relief was overwhelming, as if he’d been constipated for two and a half years and was suddenly freed—Chang Yu was so emotional he was moved to tears.

The bedding ballooned, and as he lay limp on the bed, he suddenly sensed something squirming beneath the covers.

He quickly threw back the blanket, and there it was—a football-sized, writhing lump of flesh.

“Is… is this something I gave birth to, or something I just… expelled?” Chang Yu stared at the lump, feeling increasingly uneasy.

Faced with this sudden turn of events, Chang Yu did not panic like the characters in those old legends. Instead, curiosity got the better of him, and he poked the lump with a finger, feeling its warmth and heartbeat.

One thing was clear: this thing was alive.

He calmly got out of bed, picked up the phone from the floor, and wondered whether to call Katerina and report the situation.

But before he could decide, dazzling golden light began emanating from the lump, nearly blinding him.

Next, the lump twisted and contorted, transforming into a child of five or six years old.

The little one was exquisitely carved, innocent and lively, with a small gourd perched on his head—an image of pure adorableness.

“Grandpa!”

The child looked up, meeting Chang Yu’s stunned gaze, and called out in a clear, ringing voice.

Chang Yu’s mouth hung open in shock, wide enough to swallow a whole cow, his mind reeling so much he couldn’t form a single word.

……

After a long, silent stare, Chang Yu hurriedly grabbed his phone and dialed Katerina.

“Hello, Chang Yu, what’s wrong?” Katerina answered quickly, her voice coming through the receiver.

“Ka… Katerina, something’s happened,” Chang Yu muttered as he kept stealing glances at the child.

“What is it? Take your time, don’t panic.” The tone on the other end grew serious.

“I… I think I just gave birth to a Gourd Boy.” As he spoke, his voice trembled with the urge to cry.

Half an hour later…

“So, you really did give birth to a Gourd Boy?”

Katerina stared at the child sitting at the edge of the bed, her usual composure shaken into confusion.

When she’d first received Chang Yu’s call, she thought he was joking.

But after arriving at his apartment and seeing the child with her own eyes, she began to question everything she knew.

Can a man really give birth? Katerina found herself lost in thought.

The universe is vast and limitless—anything is possible, even things that defy all reason.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I am NOT the Gourd Boy!” Before Chang Yu could reply, the little one burst out angrily.

Even his irritation was endearing, his face scrunched into a little bun, a hint of cuteness in his pout. If someone made a meme of that expression, it would go viral everywhere.

“If you’re not the Gourd Boy, why do you have a gourd on your head?” Chang Yu clearly didn’t believe him. In his childhood memories, a gourd on the head could only mean one thing—a Gourd Boy.

Especially since the child was wearing a red vest and red shorts, just like the eldest of the Gourd Brothers.

If this wasn’t a Gourd Boy, Chang Yu would be the first to not believe it.

“My true form is a poria mushroom—a thousand-year-old poria, you hear?” The child rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. “As for the gourd on my head, that’s my companion spirit treasure, born with me.”

“A thousand-year-old poria taking human form?” Katerina murmured thoughtfully.

“You’re lying!” Chang Yu searched for a reason to argue. “When you were born, you called me grandpa. And you say you’re not the Gourd Boy?”

“Who the hell called you grandpa?” At these words, the child jumped up in outrage, pointing at Chang Yu’s nose. “You’re a grown man—why are you so eager to take advantage of a child?”

“To celebrate my new life, I just shouted ‘Yay!’ How did that become ‘Grandpa’ to you?”

Chang Yu fell silent for a long moment.

So, he’d just misheard?

“So much for relying on experience,” he thought ruefully.

He had to admit, he shouldn’t have mistaken a poria for a gourd just based on appearances. Just because someone has a gourd on their head doesn’t mean they’re a Gourd Boy.

“Enough about that!” Chang Yu said, his expression conflicted. “I don’t care about the rest—I just want to know how you got here. Did I really have a dream and end up pregnant? No matter how strong my abilities are, there should be a limit! Bringing back things like hairpins and spirit stones from dreams is one thing. But now I can even bring back a child? What is going on?”

Remembering last night’s bizarre dream, Chang Yu felt his sanity slipping.

“Tch! Of course you gave birth to me!” At the mention, the child’s pride was palpable. “Even a thousand-year-old poria with some cultivation can’t just transform at will. If I hadn’t had a flash of inspiration and entered your body, using your flesh as a vessel, I never would have succeeded so quickly.”

Chang Yu was speechless.

He didn’t know why, but the smug look on the little one’s face made him want to punch him—especially the way he so gleefully built his joy on someone else’s suffering.

It was… just too much.

“If what you say is true, then I’m definitely not your grandpa,” Chang Yu said, oddly relieved.

“Of course not! You’re human, I’m poria—we’re not even remotely related.” The child squinted in satisfaction. Clearly, the man before him knew his place.

“But since I gave birth to you myself, you ought to call me Dad!” Chang Yu looked at the boy with a devilish smile. “Come on now, call me Dad and let’s hear it.”