Do you love her?

At dawn, in the Cultivation Pavilion of the Imperial Palace, the sky had grown steadily brighter, yet the nearer Zhao Chengxian drew to the palace, the more unease stirred in his heart. Soon he reached the gates, leaped from his horse, and ran into the palace at a pace that nearly broke into a sprint. Passing through the imperial gardens, he made his way at last to the charred ruin where the Cultivation Pavilion had stood. There, dozens of eunuchs were searching through the ashes for the bodies of Hui Yueer and Qiqi. Everyone understood perfectly well that there could be no hope of survival.

Zhao Chengxian charged into the wreckage and shouted, “Little Moon, you cannot possibly have gone like this. Don’t you still want to go home and see your mother? Don’t you still want to see our little nephew be born? Don’t you think of our future at all?”

At that moment, Zhao Chengxian had forgotten that his feelings for Yueer were a secret that could never be spoken aloud. He searched the ruins like a man gone mad, though he did not truly wish to find anything at all. So long as no body was found, there would still be hope. But would fate really grant him that mercy?

After a while, a young eunuch suddenly let out a shrill cry. “Ah, found it, found it, we found it!”

He had found a body, yet he sounded absurdly delighted. It was almost grotesque.

Zhao Chengxian moved forward with terrible difficulty. Each step felt as though it carried him a little farther into despair. When the eunuchs finally dug the bodies out of the rubble, he still did not dare look. One of the chief eunuchs came over, bowed, and said, “Your Highness, please come identify whether this is Princess Silk Moon.”

The two bodies had been burned beyond recognition; there was no way to tell who they were. Conveniently, Zhao Chengxian happened to be there, so they asked him to identify them. After all, he was Hui Yueer’s nominal brother.

Hearing the chief eunuch’s words, Zhao Chengxian did not move. He had no courage to force himself to accept that those two mangled corpses were Yueer and Qiqi. He shouted at the top of his lungs, “It isn’t them. It isn’t them. It isn’t them. It must not be them...” Then he clutched his head and sank to his knees. It felt as though thousands and tens of thousands of tiny insects were gnawing at his heart; all the blood in his body had frozen solid, and he could not move. He was tasting the agony of losing the one he loved most. In his mind were all the moments he had shared with Hui Yueer: her lively stubbornness, her wit and quickness, her ease and boldness. Every second he had spent with her now circled endlessly through his thoughts.

Seeing that Zhao Chengxian seemed unwell, the eunuchs hurried off to report to Xuan Yuanren. They thought Zhao Chengxian had been struck by evil spirits and grew frightened.

Xuan Yuanren had just left court when he heard of Zhao Chengxian’s strange behavior and came at once. Seeing Zhao Chengxian kneeling in the ruins with his head in his hands, he hurried over, crouched before him, and said, “The dead cannot return to life. In truth, you need not blame yourself. If anyone is to blame, it is me. I knew full well she did not want to enter the palace, yet I could not bear to let her go. I am the one who harmed her.”

He now deeply regretted not having listened to Zhao Chengxian’s warning. In truth, they both bore responsibility. If Zhao Chengxian had had the courage to marry Yueer at once, perhaps this tragedy would never have come to pass. And if Xuan Yuanren had not brought Yueer into the palace, those who meant her harm would never have had their chance.

Zhao Chengxian stared at Xuan Yuanren with empty eyes and said slowly, “It was I who was not brave enough. I did not even dare tell anyone that I wanted to marry her. It was my hesitation that ruined her.”

At this point, what was there left for him to fear? Let it all be as it would; he no longer wished to consider anything. Had he spoken sooner, perhaps Yueer would not have left his world.

Xuan Yuanren had originally thought Zhao Chengxian was only grieving from guilt. He never imagined that Zhao Chengxian truly loved Yueer. Shocked by the truth, he looked at him and asked loudly, “You love her?”

At that moment, his feelings were complicated. On one hand, he felt deceived; on the other, he could not help but feel a measure of guilt. After all, no one dared disobey an imperial decree.

Expressionless, Zhao Chengxian said, “Yes. I love her. It was only after we were separated that I realized I had already fallen in love with her without knowing it. But by then she was already one of your chosen women, and I did not dare tell you, because I did not want you to take it out on the Bright Duke’s Manor or the Hui family escort bureau. In truth, Little Moon never had any smallpox. We invented that excuse so we could look for her brother and Silk Soft. We only wanted to get Little Moon out of the palace. Didn’t you ask how I met her? It was after her brother ran away with Silk Soft that I brought Little Moon to the manor to serve as a maid.”

It was as if he had spoken all this without the slightest thought.

Seeing that Zhao Chengxian now seemed to regard everything as meaningless, Xuan Yuanren could not bear to reproach him further. With some sorrow, he patted the dazed Zhao Chengxian and said, “Get up. I believe Yueer would not want to see you suffer like this. Besides, you still have to send Yueer back to her home.”

They had not truly confirmed whether the bodies were Yueer’s; they had only assumed so by common sense. Yet Zhao Chengxian still gave no response. He remained kneeling there, dumbstruck. Xuan Yuanren glanced at him, shook his head, and ordered everyone, “None of you are to disturb the Duke of Brightness!” With that, he turned and left. He felt Zhao Chengxian needed time to calm himself.