Chapter One: A Subtle Game

"Make a big request first—if the other party refuses, then follow up with a small one, and they’re unlikely to turn you down." Xu Si stared at the Baidu Tips displayed on her phone screen, then looked up at the deity still sulking on the sofa.

"Hey, you out there, why don’t you just give up fighting with me over this body?"

Hearing her take advantage while feigning humility, Nan Xian exploded, gritting his teeth as he shot Xu Si a furious glare. "Do I look like I can take this body back from you?"

"Oh, I guess you can’t." Xu Si’s face turned pale as she lay flat on the bed, squinting into the harsh ceiling light. She couldn’t help but wonder if the advice she’d just read was completely unreliable.

Search: What if the other person agrees to your big request?

Answer: They probably like you.

"Insane!" Now it was Xu Si’s turn to grit her teeth.

In her past life, with her steely will, a trivial matter like turning off the light would never have warranted asking someone else’s help. But now—the problem was the original host’s particular way of ending things… yes, especially frugal. Who knew where she’d scavenged so many expired pills, but swallowing them all at once led to her soul’s complete obliteration. And now Xu Si was left to suffer the aftermath—the pain was excruciating!

"Hey, you out there, are you really not going to fight me for the body anymore?"

Xu Si’s voice was weak and miserable.

Nan Xian felt a surge of satisfaction at this and secretly gloated. "Hmph, you paltry little ghost..."

Seeing Nan Xian about to launch into another long speech, Xu Si hurriedly interrupted, "Since you’re not fighting for the body, why don’t you go all the way as a benevolent deity and turn off the light for this pitiful ghost?"

"Turn off the light? I don’t think you’ll need that!" Nan Xian stood up and faced the balcony, eyes fixed as a mass of thunderclouds began to gather. Bright sunlight was swiftly swallowed, and the building was shrouded in darkness.

Xu Si felt her vision dim, and as she turned to the window, her phone slipped from her grasp and landed with a thud on her chest.

"Cough, cough!" Feeling as if her internal organs had been bruised, Xu Si quickly grabbed her phone.

Search: What do I do if a deity tries to strike me with lightning?

Answer: You can avoid the heavenly tribulation by going to Hexi Third Hospital!

Xu Si’s eyes lit up and she quickly typed: Hexi Third Hospital address.

Answer: Hexi Third Hospital is a well-known psychiatric institution in our city...

"Insane!" Xu Si couldn’t help cursing again.

Watching the suddenly agitated ghost, Nan Xian was secretly delighted. "Serves you right for trying to snatch my body! Now you’re scared? Too late! The tribulation for this body is about to arrive. Prepare to be reduced to ashes!"

Xu Si shivered as she grabbed her phone. Yes, she still had her phone. In her memory, the original host had always turned to Baidu for solutions.

"Oh, benevolent search engine, give me a way out!"

"Too late for prayers now," Nan Xian sneered, a trace of schadenfreude in his eyes. Trapped in the mortal realm by an unpassed love trial, he could only find pleasure in her misfortune.

Xu Si shot him a look and began searching again.

Question: How can I avoid being struck by lightning?

Answer: Lightning rods—conductive metals can help you avoid lightning strikes!

"Heavens, sometimes you really come through." Xu Si’s eyes lit up even more. With a jolt of energy, she sat up in bed, rushed to the balcony, and twisted several wire hangers together into an iron rod, making sure to sharpen one end.

The thunderclouds grew even denser. Nan Xian couldn’t help glancing at Xu Si—one look, two looks, by the third, even his spirit was drawn closer.

"What are you making that for?"

"Ah!" Xu Si, who had been full of schemes, was startled and turned to face the inquisitive Nan Xian, her eyes darting quickly.

"Well, since it’s your first time in the mortal world, I wanted to prepare a gift for you, Your Excellency. You know, I don’t have a penny to my name, and I’ll be gone in a puff soon anyway—sentiment is all I can offer. Surely, you wouldn’t mind that, would you?"

As the thunderclouds thickened, Xu Si dropped the act and simply handed over the iron rod.

Nan Xian eyed the crude "gift" with some discomfort, but when he remembered this little ghost actually showed him some respect, he took it solemnly and said, "Don’t worry. After the tribulation, if you survive, I promise to find you a good place."

Seeing him accept the rod, Xu Si quickly stepped back to put more distance between them, nodding rapidly in feigned earnestness.

"Don’t worry, Your Excellency. I’ll be just fine."

The last words she deliberately left inaudible.

Nan Xian tilted his head. "What did you say just now?"

"I said..." Xu Si abruptly raised Nan Xian’s elbow, then quickly retreated.

A violet bolt of lightning outside seized the moment and struck, drawn to the raised iron wire. With a crackling sizzle, Nan Xian stiffened, looking up at the rod in his hand.

"Cough, cough—damn heavens, you struck the wrong one!"

A puff of white smoke escaped Nan Xian’s mouth. Xu Si’s lips curled in a sly smile. "I said I’ll be just fine, but as for you…not so sure!"

As the thunderclouds prepared for another strike and the pain in her stomach eased, Xu Si began to inspect the ancient living quarters, taking a few more steps back for safety.

Nan Xian was still cursing the heavens with the iron rod raised when he caught sight of Xu Si’s movements from the corner of his eye. He looked at the rod, then at Xu Si’s feet, and suddenly realized something.

He immediately blocked her way. "You crafty little ghost! Out with it—what spell did you cast on this thing? Why did the lightning hit me?"

"Spell? I wouldn’t know how." Xu Si blinked her round eyes innocently and shook her head in earnest.

Nan Xian scrutinized her suspiciously. "You really don’t seem to have that ability… Could it be that the heavens made a mistake?"

He raised his arm, the wide sleeve slipping down to his elbow as he prepared to inspect the iron rod more closely.

But before he could look, the thunderclouds finished gathering strength. A bolt of violet lightning, twice as thick as before, targeted Xu Si but was again diverted by the raised iron wire.

Crackling and hissing, the violet lightning passed through his soul, a dazzling display of sparks and color, blinding to behold.

Ten minutes later, Xu Si’s mouth twitched as she looked at Nan Xian, his hair now a burnt mess, white smoke puffing from his lips. She raised her brow and struggled not to laugh. "Maybe the lightning is shy around strangers?"

"I’m not exactly friendly with it either!" Nan Xian ground his teeth.

The iron rod slipped from his charred fingers. Whether from rage or from being struck into a stupor, Nan Xian’s spirit paced back and forth through the room.

"But the tribulation is over—why haven’t I advanced? It all struck me, didn’t it? Did I endure it all for nothing?"

"Exactly! It’s outrageous to be struck for nothing," Xu Si nodded along absentmindedly.

Because the original host had committed suicide by overdosing, her stomach still ached. Following the host’s memory, she found some hoarded bread and stuffed it into her mouth.

With her cheeks puffed full, eyes round and sparkling, and skin fair as porcelain, she looked irresistibly cute.

Nan Xian, still fuming at the heavens, was suddenly wracked by guilt. He scratched his neck, looked at the sky, and grew even more dazed than Xu Si.

"You little wild ghost, don’t worry. Even if the tribulation was unreliable, I’m not. I promised to find you a good place, and I will… Wait, why are you swaying?"

"Hmm?" Xu Si’s eyes brightened. As she turned, she saw Nan Xian’s spirit, still smoking from every orifice, fall right in front of her.

"Still not dead?" Xu Si lowered her lashes, edged closer without a sound, and with all her might, kicked Nan Xian in the neck.

With a loud bang, Nan Xian’s spirit, sprawled on the floor, shuddered from the impact.