Chapter 114: Dark Dawn

Shu Yunyi’s sudden relapse startled Su Chen and Lin Xi both; it was utterly beyond anything they had expected. Yunyi had never before suffered such an episode in front of anyone.

Su Chen carried Yunyi to the bed.

“Xiaoyi, don’t scare me like this.”

He knelt beside Shu Yunyi’s bed, panic written all over his face, calm utterly gone. Reaching out, he gripped her hand tightly, as though trying to ease some of her pain. He leaned close to her, their breaths mingling in the narrow space between them, and brushed aside the hair stuck to her cheeks. It was impossible to tell whether her little face was wet with tears or sweat.

Shu Yunyi’s head swam; caught off guard, she fell into his hard, solid embrace, drenched in sweat.

Su Chen looked straight into her eyes, and her shattered gaze crushed him in turn.

He lowered his head and kissed her lips in anguish. He wanted to comfort her, and perhaps also to seek comfort for himself in the same way.

“W-wah...” Shu Yunyi resisted his closeness, and the kiss between them was strained and difficult.

Su Chen’s heart felt as though it were being sliced apart. He gathered her into his arms and said softly, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have frightened you. Please don’t cry. Let’s stay together properly. I’ll be with you through this hardship. We can be like before, carefree, together always!”

His voice, thick with deep affection, fell into her ear, each word searing into the depths of her heart. Her tears would not stop; they only came harder, her small face flushed a bright red from holding them back.

Lin Xi’s heart ached for them. Their love was beyond doubt, and yet it had arrived at the wrong time.

Seeing Yunyi frown in discomfort and push at him, Lin Xi grew afraid that something else might happen. She hurried forward, caught Su Chen by the arm, and pulled him aside, saying sternly, “You should go outside and wait.”

Su Chen stood up but still had not quite come to himself. He kept staring blankly at Yunyi’s episode, not reacting at all, looking stunned and shaken to the core. It was only when Lin Xi stepped between them that he jolted awake, striking at his own head in pain and murmuring helplessly, “It’s all my fault. All my fault.”

Lin Xi’s expression was grim to the extreme. She could only watch Su Chen lose control before her, and she could not bear to look back at Yunyi’s agonized face.

“Quick!”

Just as the two of them were at a loss, the doctor and nurses hurried in, pushing the door open.

“Family members, please wait outside.” Nurse Jin drove Lin Xi and Su Chen out of the ward.

Outside the room, Su Chen was entirely consumed by panic. In those few short minutes, Lin Xi saw helplessness, heartache, regret, and torment flash across his face. He seemed split in two, covering his face as he waited.

No one wanted things to turn out like this. Even though Su Chen had impulsively confessed at the worst possible moment, Lin Xi herself found it hard to bear. She should have stopped him. Holding her breath, she warned herself not to let her thoughts wander. Yunyi would be all right.

“It’s too late. Everything’s too late...” Su Chen’s face was livid. All traces of steadiness and restraint had vanished. Miserably, he sank onto the bench and let out a long, pained groan.

“What do you mean, too late? What nonsense are you talking about? She’s very fragile right now. For the moment, you’d better not see her, so as not to agitate her further.” Lin Xi sighed in frustration. No matter how much she sympathized with Su Chen, she would never again dare to gamble with Yunyi’s condition. She could only harden her heart.

Su Chen nodded slowly, a self-mocking smile appearing on his lips, his eyes showing a trace of desolation. “In the end, it was because of me that she relapsed.”

Lin Xi did not know how to comfort him. Looking toward the doctors moving busily inside the ward, she said, “Your confession came too suddenly. Given her condition, she definitely wouldn’t agree. Back then, it was because of her depression that she broke up with you.”

“What?” Su Chen lifted his head in disbelief, his voice trembling uncontrollably.

Lin Xi did not look at him. She only wanted the two people who loved each other not to misunderstand one another any longer. “When Yunyi was in university, she was diagnosed as being prone to depression. She didn’t want to drag you down, so she found an excuse to break up with you.”

At this, Su Chen’s whole body shook violently. At last he understood why Xiaoyi had been so resolute in ending things back then. He had never asked her clearly why, and in his anger he had gone abroad, breaking off all contact between them.

How foolish he had been. He was far too foolish. Su Chen wanted nothing more than to punch himself. During the hardest years of Xiaoyi’s life, he had not been by her side, and instead had misunderstood her and resented her.

“Ah.” Lin Xi sighed as well. For Yunyi’s health, nothing else mattered now. “For the next little while, don’t show yourself. It would be easy to upset her and trigger another relapse. Let’s wait until she’s calmed down a bit before talking about anything else.”

Su Chen remained silent for a long time. It was not until the second before the doctor came out and pushed open the door that Lin Xi vaguely heard him answer, “Mm.”

The doctor warned them with unprecedented seriousness: “I told you already, the patient needs rest and must not be stimulated! Are you making a joke of her life? As family and friends, your most important task is to keep her company, make her happy, and maintain a cheerful mood. You absolutely cannot behave so recklessly again!”

“All right, doctor. We promise.” Lin Xi nodded earnestly as well.

After the doctor swept away, Lin Xi pushed the door open and returned to the ward. This time Su Chen stood like a stone gazing at his wife; he did not move an inch, only looking through the small glass pane in the door at that familiar figure.

Lin Xi sat once again in the chair she had used before. It felt as though time had turned back, as though nothing had happened.

But how could that be possible?

Shu Yunyi leaned against the pillows, her small face drained of color, her expression very calm, revealing nothing. Lin Xi looked at her and saw that her body seemed even thinner and more fragile now.

“Xiao Xi, I’m sorry. I startled you just now, didn’t I?” Shu Yunyi’s voice was much hoarser. She tried hard to curve her lips upward as though apologizing with a smile.

Lin Xi hurriedly shook her head in disagreement. “Yunyi, what are you saying? How could it be?”

Shu Yunyi lowered her eyes and seemed to murmur to herself, “Actually, there’s nothing left to look forward to. Just like back then, on an ordinary day, I gave up someone very important. The moment I began to enjoy the darkness, I stopped waiting for the light of dawn.”

Hearing this, Lin Xi was truly startled. The doctor’s warning had been all too accurate; Yunyi was already having dangerous thoughts. She was far too calm, far too rational.

Yet Shu Yunyi’s face remained tranquil and indifferent, giving away nothing. She smiled with open ease. “Xiao Xi, don’t worry. I won’t see him again. I’ll recover properly. I promised my younger brother I’d go to the amusement park with him, and we still have to watch the premiere of North Star together.”

“...” Lin Xi pressed her lips together and froze for a moment. Then, meeting Yunyi’s clear eyes, she nodded hard. “You will definitely get better!”

After leaving the ward, Lin Xi still could not find Su Chen’s figure. She felt endless regret and pity for that pair of ill-fated lovers.

After saying a few more words of advice to Nurse Jin, Lin Xi left the hospital with a heavy heart. Instinctively, she looked up at the sky, hoping to find the great sweep of white clouds Yunyi had mentioned earlier. But by then the heavens were dark and overcast, and not a single cloud could be seen.