Chapter 120: A Letter to Su Chen

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Lin Xi led Shu Yiran into the living room. Madam Gu was coming out of the kitchen carrying some fruit. Upon seeing Lin Xi, she greeted her with delight and clasped her hand warmly.

“Xiao Xi, you finally came back. How long has it been since you last visited your godmother?” Madam Gu chided gently.

Lin Xi quickly smiled to soothe her, linking her arm with Madam Gu as they sat down on the sofa. She coquettishly said, “Godmother, I did come back, didn’t I? I’ve been missing you so much these past few days!”

Madam Gu beamed, barely able to close her mouth from smiling, and tapped her forehead with a finger. “You little rascal, you just know how to make me happy.”

Noticing Shu Yiran standing awkwardly to the side, Madam Gu beckoned him over hurriedly. “Ranran, what are you standing there for? Come sit down and have some fruit.”

“Mm, thank you, Aunt Gu!” Shu Yiran obediently sat down and picked up a piece of fruit to offer to Madam Gu first.

Their surprised reactions were mutual. Madam Gu quickly accepted the fruit, exclaiming, “Ranran, you’re so considerate!”

Lin Xi felt a pang of sadness deep inside. She understood that Shu Yiran still maintained some distance, politeness, and unease toward the family. He was aware he was living under their roof and thus behaved with caution and formality.

But he was still just a child. Lin Xi seemed to see in him the shadow of young Yun Yi—frail and small, she must have endured countless hardships since childhood. Yiran was her brother, and she would never again let him suffer through a long and painful ordeal like Yun Yi.

After Shu Yiran went back to his room to do his homework, Lin Xi sighed deeply. Then she earnestly took Madam Gu’s hand and sincerely implored, “Godmother, I truly hope that you and Godfather will adopt Yiran, treating him as your own child with love and care. I know this may come as a surprise, but he and his sister have suffered so much rejection and hardship since childhood that it has made him so cautious. I don’t want to see him walk the same path as Yun Yi.”

Unexpectedly, Madam Gu smiled and gently patted Lin Xi’s hand in reassurance. “Don’t worry. Your dad and I both like Ranran very much. We’ve already asked your third brother to prepare the paperwork to formally adopt him. But he still needs time to adjust, and we mustn’t rush him.”

Upon hearing this, Lin Xi’s eyes immediately welled with tears, her heart warmed beyond measure. She embraced Madam Gu tightly. “Godmother, you’re so kind. On behalf of Yun Yi, thank you.”

“Good child,” Madam Gu said warmly, stroking Lin Xi’s back with relief.

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On the day “Polaris” was officially released, Su Chen finally opened the only letter Shu Yunyi had left for him.

—A Letter to Su Chen

Chen, I want to call you by this name one last time, so recklessly. I never imagined we would end like this. I’m sorry for making you sad once again in this way.

Su Chen, you once asked me why we couldn’t be together. Now I will answer you. Because my love is heavy, tainted, filled with so many uncertainties—sadness, sorrow, self-pity, despair.

Actually, on the day we broke up, my depression was already causing me unbearable pain. It made my heart fragile, and I was constantly defeated by negative emotions, as if struggling in a swamp, sinking deeper the more I fought. And my love for you would have dragged you into that mire, hoping you would save me. My reason told me I couldn’t do that—it would ruin you. You are so young, with a bright future ahead. I couldn’t be selfish enough to drag you down. So no matter what, I could no longer be with you wholeheartedly, no matter how much it hurt. All I could do was desperately avoid you and push you away.

It’s all my fault. I must apologize to you. If I hadn’t come into your life, you surely would have shone in the film industry you love. I was the one who held you back. But I am grateful for your presence, which gave me a beautiful memory and made my time in this world meaningful. All I can do now is restrain my love and gradually leave your life.

I’m sorry I couldn’t avoid a premature ending. I lacked the courage and strength to persist. The road ahead is long, and the scenery along it is beautiful, but unfortunately, I can no longer walk it with you.

Promise me you’ll watch the premiere of “Polaris” for me—one last glimpse of the only proof I ever existed in this world. Then, when you leave the cinema, start anew with your own life. Live well from now on and forget about me.

We were never meant to be in this life, but I wish you all the beauty the world can offer.

Yun Yi

Su Chen locked himself in his study and slumped against the wall, weeping uncontrollably. His hands clenched his chest as if his heart were being torn apart, leaving him breathless.

He finally understood that true longing is not staying up all night crying for you, nor drunkenly shouting your name. It is thinking you have forgotten someone, only to be reminded at any moment by a single object, a name, or a familiar scene—that the love you have for them has never changed.

The day before “Polaris” premiered, newcomer director Su Chen posted this message online, prompting a nationwide moment of silence.

Su Chen V:

She’s gone.

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She has become a white cloud in the blue sky, but I can no longer see the sky.

I beg everyone to come watch “Polaris” again—one last proof of her existence.

Indeed, this was Shu Yunyi’s final work in her lifetime, and no matter what, it deserves support.

Yet many self-righteous keyboard warriors criticized Su Chen, accusing him of exploiting the deceased for box office gain, claiming he was playing the sympathy card with Yun Yi’s popularity.

But at a time like this, no one paid heed to such online trolls. Everyone mourned in their own way.

On the day of the “Polaris” preview, the cinema was packed. The entire crew was present, many media outlets attended, and numerous fans had secured tickets.

This screening felt more like a farewell than a premiere; its significance far surpassed that of a mere film.

The atmosphere was solemn, without noise or celebration. Cast, crew, media, and fans quietly took their seats in anticipation.

Lin Xi and Lu Yuxiu also brought Shu Yiran to the event.

Su Chen, dressed entirely in black, arrived early and sat quietly. He fulfilled Yun Yi’s last wish by attending the premiere. His face was expressionless, and most who saw him thought he was beginning to heal. Lin Xi couldn’t read his thoughts but felt it was good he was here, facing the moment.

The greatest regret in life is meeting someone extraordinary but never being able to be together. Sooner or later, you have to let go. In the end, the most painful thing isn’t that you can’t be together, but that you cannot stay side by side. Whether we meet again or not, you remain in my heart—the one I chose.

As Xi Murong said, “All joys and sorrows have turned to ashes; on whichever path in this world, I cannot walk with you.”

Then don’t think of me, only to add more sorrow.