Chapter 38: The Courtyard, Deep and Laden with Storms

Those three simple words weighed heavily on Yun Ci’s heart once more, undoing the calm he had only just regained. He gazed at Chu Xiu, and for the first time, her peerless smile seemed to stab at his eyes, leaving him speechless in the wake of her “I will.”

Such tender, beautiful words, penned by her slender, snow-white fingers, only left him feeling stifled, as if something unsaid were stuck in his throat.

Deliberately avoiding her smile, Yun Ci took a moment to steady himself before asking, “Are you in such a hurry to marry?”

Chu Xiu shook her head, though Yun Ci did not see it.

“You once promised in the Chasing Rainbow Pavilion that you would find me a good match,” she forced herself to write.

Yun Ci glanced at the words before him and answered softly, “I did say that.” As he spoke, he recalled Shen Yu’s old question—“Are you sure it’s compassion, not love?”

“You taught me how to keep accounts, and the examples you used happened to be the rice shop ledgers from Huainan District. Perhaps it’s fate. Though I cannot speak, at least I can help him run his business,” Chu Xiu explained, offering herself a measure of solace.

Fate? Yun Ci gave a faint, ironic smile. If simply using the Huainan ledgers counted as fate, then what did that make him, her teacher?

“Do you think so little of yourself? That a mere steward is worthy of you?” Yun Ci’s voice was low.

“I am the one aiming too high.” Chu Xiu paused, then wrote, “Steward Yun does not despise my infirmity. That is my good fortune.”

“Infirmity…” As if those words had stirred some memory, Yun Ci’s face turned pale, and a dull pain throbbed in his legs—a reminder not to drag others into his misfortune.

It was only after writing the word that Chu Xiu realized her mistake. Spoken words could be swept away by the wind, but written ones stood stark before Yun Ci—an unignorable obstacle.

Instinctively, she reached for the paper, but before her delicate hand could snatch it away, his own hand gently pressed atop hers. Yun Ci smiled, “Trying to destroy the evidence? I’m not angry. Why are you so flustered?”

Chu Xiu was already tense, her pale cheeks drained of color, anxiety and remorse clouding her expression. The hand holding the brush trembled; she wished to explain or offer comfort, but no words would come.

Yun Ci seemed to read her thoughts. He withdrew his hand and picked up the sheet she’d written on, speaking with gentle indifference, “So what if you’re disabled? Your talent and diligence set you apart from thousands; you’re stronger than most. Why belittle yourself?”

At last, he looked up at her, meeting her luminous gaze—clear as an autumn lake, its surface trembling with emotion, a silent plea or lament.

In Chu Xiu’s eyes, Yun Ci saw many things: endurance, inferiority, hardship, resignation—even the sorrow and disappointment of one who had weathered countless storms. These feelings resonated deeply, making his own heart ache with sympathetic pain.

Once more, he looked at her with an inscrutable gaze and voiced the question he had long buried within: “Chu Xiu, do you carry some hidden grief? Or… have you lived through something in the past?”

Though he already sensed the answer, he still longed to hear her confess it herself.

Chu Xiu was startled by the question, lowering her eyes as if lost in thought or inner struggle.

“Is there something weighing on your heart? Is that why you’re so hasty in deciding your future?” Yun Ci slid a sheet before her, his tone solemn. “You can write it. I will read it—and remember.”

Something in his words seemed to persuade her. Clutching the brush, she nervously dipped it in the half-dry ink. After a long pause, she finally resolved to write. A drop of ink, unable to withstand her trembling grip, fell onto the rice paper, blooming into a dark blossom.

A blot of darkness, much like a memory lurking in her heart—cruel, unbearable to recall.

Forcing herself not to meet Yun Ci’s clear gaze, Chu Xiu slowly wrote four words: “No hidden grief.”

In that instant, as the ephemeral blossoms bloomed and withered, Yun Ci, witness to this silent anguish, could not help but feel disappointed. He realized that Chu Xiu was a woman who responded better to sternness than gentleness. Soft words only made her retreat further, forcing herself to endure rather than refuse or resist.

With this in mind, Yun Ci broke off the conversation. “I do not agree to this marriage.”

Did not agree? Chu Xiu, her eyes brimming with tears, was taken aback by the remark, caught between laughter and tears.

“You deserve better. He is not worthy of you,” Yun Ci said only that, then added with a faint smile, “I’ll grant you half an hour’s leave—go wash your face and return to serve. In your current state, I’m in no mood to deal with paperwork.”

Chu Xiu struggled to keep up with his shifting moods, only nodding after a moment’s thought. Was that the end of it? Then why had he questioned her so earnestly just now? She pushed aside her tangled thoughts, accepted the order, and left the Study of Tranquil Heart.

As she reached the door, a young man in scarlet robes hurried toward her, his face anxious and steps quick. Not knowing his identity, Chu Xiu stepped aside to let him pass. The young man paid her no heed, striding straight into Yun Ci’s study.

She heard Bamboo Shadow, stationed outside, greet him as “Third Master.” Only then did she realize this was Yun Xian.

*****

Half an hour later, Chu Xiu had composed herself and returned to the Study of Tranquil Heart. Just as she stepped through the archway, she saw Bamboo Shadow still on guard, who gave her a subtle shake of the head. Chu Xiu understood at once—someone was inside; it was not her place to enter.

So she waited in the garden. In April’s gentle spring breeze, Chu Xiu let herself enjoy the warm sunlight.

About a cup of tea’s time later, the conversation inside ended. The young man in scarlet emerged briskly, and Bamboo Shadow greeted him again, “Third Master.”

Yun Xian looked no more than seventeen or eighteen, with star-like brows and sword-shaped eyes, his bearing mature beyond his years. At present, his face was grave. He merely nodded to Bamboo Shadow’s salute, saying courteously, “No need to see me off,” before hurrying down the steps.

As he passed Chu Xiu, he stopped, giving her a thoughtful glance. “You are Chu Xiu?”

Having heard her name, he must know she could not speak. Chu Xiu bowed in silent acknowledgment.

Yun Xian’s gaze revealed no surprise, only a hint of meaning. “No wonder… In the future, do not wander about idly.”

No wonder what? Chu Xiu sensed the implication, recalling how the Third Master had come to her aid the other day. She bowed again, this time in gratitude.

Yun Xian responded with a quiet “Mm” and left without further pause.

There was no denying that Yun Xian was, in Chu Xiu’s mind, the very model of a noble son—well-bred, well-mannered, reserved and proud, neither harsh nor overly familiar with servants, always maintaining a dignified distance.

Only when the last trace of scarlet vanished beyond the archway did Chu Xiu collect her thoughts and enter the study. Yun Ci was seated, brows furrowed, long fingers tapping the table—a habit of his when deep in thought.

Her arrival did not disturb him. After a long moment, he finally looked to her and said, “There’s an epidemic in Fangzhou, quite serious. Lord Mu has sealed off all four gates of Yanlan City, leaving the refugees outside. The Yun family cannot stand by and do nothing.”

Chu Xiu was shocked. An epidemic in Fangzhou? There had been no warning signs. Though Fangzhou was temperate year-round, it was only early April—not the height of summer when such things might be expected.

Yun Ci did not explain the cause, only continued, “Fangzhou is Lord Mu’s fief. He comes from the military, a man of iron will. If this continues, the number of refugees will only grow… Chu Xiu, you’re coming with me to see my mother.”

Though his expression was grave, Yun Ci was calm, showing no panic—only resolute composure. Chu Xiu trusted he had a plan and stopped asking questions, hurrying with Bamboo Shadow to wheel him to the Matron’s garden—Glorious Brocade Hall.

The last time Chu Xiu had seen the Matron was at the Garden of Drunken Fragrance and Moonlight. Then, she had told herself that if ever she entered the Matron’s garden, she must take in its beauty and décor to her heart’s content.

But now that she had the chance, she could not spare a thought for the scenery, her mind occupied only by the epidemic Yun Ci had mentioned. It had nothing to do with her, perhaps, but what worried Yun Ci could not leave her indifferent.

Yun Ci was silent throughout the journey, only speaking as they neared Glorious Brocade Hall. “No matter what I say to my mother, just follow orders,” he told her gently, yet with undeniable authority.

Chu Xiu nodded and followed him inside.

After the Marquis’s passing, the Matron had managed the Yun family’s affairs for more than a decade, weathering countless storms with composure. She listened to the news of the epidemic with remarkable calm, sipping her tea before asking Yun Ci, “What do you intend to do?”

Without hesitation, Yun Ci replied, “I’ve already discussed it with Third Brother. He will oversee the soup kitchens and charity work. I will go personally to Lord Mu’s residence to gauge his stance before making further plans.”

The Matron nodded. “Fangzhou is, after all, Lord Mu’s fief. His opinion must be sought, but he is a man of unpredictable temper. Mind your words.”

“Rest assured, Mother. If we cannot reach an agreement, I have other ways to proceed, even without his consent.”

Seeing his confidence, the Matron was satisfied.

Listening to their conversation, Chu Xiu was filled with emotion. She had thought that the Marquis’s household owed its centuries of prosperity to ancestral blessings and business acumen, but now realized how deeply they cared for the people—establishing soup kitchens, personally confronting the epidemic.

It became clearer to her: the Yun family’s enduring legacy depended on winning the people’s hearts as much as wealth. She had spent too long in the Drunken Flower House, assuming all noble houses were alike. Only now did she understand the true worth of the Yun family.

This visit, she thought, had not been in vain.

She was quietly reflecting when Yun Ci mentioned her name. “My visit to Lord Mu’s residence will require a stay of two or three days. Bamboo Shadow, Shallow Rhyme, and Light Heart will accompany me. Chu Xiu, being less convenient, I wish to leave her here with you for instruction.”

At this, Chu Xiu was stunned. So this was Yun Ci’s real purpose in bringing her here! But why leave her in the Matron’s care? Was he worried for her safety?

She tried not to dwell on it, stealing a glance at the Matron, who showed neither surprise nor hesitation. The lady merely smiled and agreed, “Very well. You may fetch her from me when you return.”

With that, Chu Xiu’s fate was decided. She quickly bowed in gratitude, and as she rose, Yun Ci said, “You will serve here tonight.” He then told Bamboo Shadow, “You may return.”

In the Matron’s domain, there was no need to worry about impropriety. Both Bamboo Shadow and Chu Xiu accepted their orders and withdrew.

Once they were gone, Yun Ci spoke to the Matron, “Sorry to trouble you… I only ask that nothing be said to her.”

The Matron brushed the froth from her teacup lid before raising her gaze to Yun Ci. Unhurriedly, she replied, “She’s just a maid. What could possibly be conveyed? Even if there were, she is not in a position to hear it.”