Chapter 59: For Whom Does This Tender Heart Beat?

It was common knowledge throughout the Yun household that the Fourth Madam was always cold as frost, never revealing the demeanor of a delicate young woman. Had she been crying? Yun Xian’s heart gave a sudden jolt, and a bold suspicion surfaced in his mind.

Earlier, when Bamboo Shadow had stopped him, she had clearly said that Shen Yu was inside speaking with his eldest brother. Why, then, was it Fourth Madam Luanqing who emerged? Besides, Luanqing was only four or five years older than his brother, and now, in the deep stillness of night… Could it be…?

As Yun Xian’s thoughts wandered wildly, he saw Luanqing’s cat-like eyes sweep over him with a chilling warning. Her tone was tinged with an indescribable catch as she spoke, “Third Master.”

Yun Xian nearly shivered, feeling as if she’d seen right through him. He nodded guiltily. Another waft of her cold fragrance lingered as she quickly strode away.

Steadying himself, Yun Xian remembered the urgent dispatch in his hand and hurried into the room—only to be stunned again. Inside were not only his elder brother Yun Ci, but also Shen Yu.

So Bamboo Shadow hadn’t lied. But then, why had Luanqing been there just now? Yun Xian’s mind twisted upon itself, but he dared show nothing on his face, and quickly presented the dispatch. “News from the North Xi: the Chen clan has allied with several rebel factions, preparing to strike directly at the imperial city and overthrow the reigning emperor.”

This was a crisis of utmost urgency, yet Yun Ci, having received the report, merely pressed it to the table without reading it. Instead, he studied Yun Xian with a meaningful gaze.

Baffled, Yun Xian glanced at Shen Yu and saw his face was shadowed, wracked with pain, pity, regret, and reluctance—an array of emotions woven together and laid bare. In the end, all was swallowed by a consuming sorrow that filled the room.

Shen Yu’s reputation for romance was well known; recalling Fourth Madam Luanqing’s earlier appearance, Yun Xian’s mind began wandering again: Had something happened between Shen Yu and Luanqing, and had his brother caught them? Or was it something else…

“I’ll handle the report. You may rest. I’ll send for you if there’s need,” Yun Ci’s steady voice cut through Yun Xian’s speculation, calm as ever, betraying nothing unusual.

Tonight’s events were far too strange for Yun Xian to linger; he could only accept the order and withdraw.

“Zifeng, you may go as well,” Yun Ci added.

But Shen Yu, as if deaf, sat lost in his chair, his gaze unfocused.

Yun Ci sighed softly. “Third Brother, see the Young Marquis Shen back to his quarters for me.”

Knowing the bond between Shen Yu and his brother, Yun Xian quickly replied, “He is our guest, Brother, rest assured.” With that, he extended a hand, and Shen Yu, finally returning to himself, cast Yun Ci a long look, then left in silence with Yun Xian.

The deep courtyard, veiled windows, and misted pavilions were engulfed in the silent midnight, a palpable despair lingering in the air.

So many sorrows to be sung to the moon and whispered to the wind; all entrusted to a solitary lamp…

*****

“Yesterday I suddenly felt unwell and made you worry, my lord.” The next day, Xia Yanran lay on her couch, eyes rimmed red, clutching Yun Ci’s slender fingers as she spoke timidly.

Yun Ci stood by the bedside, leaning closer to let her hold his hand, comforting her, “The physician saw you yesterday. You’re new to Yanlan City and overtired, it’s merely acclimation—nothing serious.”

Xia Yanran nodded. “I heard you stayed up all night to care for me. It should have been me tending to you…” Her voice trembled with emotion.

Yun Ci turned his hand to gently pat hers, his gaze softening, even a trace of tenderness appearing. This tenderness delighted Xia Yanran, her face awash with tears like pear blossoms in rain. “My lord…” she called sweetly.

As if struck by something, Yun Ci’s pupils contracted suddenly. He brushed the tear tracks from her face and said in a low voice, “Had I known it would come to this, I would never have let my heart be moved…”

“My lord, what did you say?” Xia Yanran found his words strange. It was only acclimation sickness, so why did Yun Ci look so sorrowful, as though mourning the dead?

A sudden unease crept into her heart. She tightened her grip on his hand. “Will you sit with me a while?”

He gazed at her, seeming to look through her to someone else, eyes distant and deep. At last, he silently sat at her side. Xia Yanran shifted her head from her pillow to rest intimately on his lap.

“My lord, does it hurt when I rest on you like this?” she asked cautiously.

“No,” Yun Ci replied, stroking her loose hair with an air of reluctant affection. Suddenly, a memory surfaced—of washing someone’s hair.

“My lord…” Xia Yanran’s tone grew more coquettish, nuzzling his leg. “Right now, I feel both happy and sad…”

At this, Yun Ci frowned slightly, then offered a faint smile. “Chuxiu, you’re quite talkative today.”

The words had scarcely fallen before the room fell silent. He sensed the woman resting on his lap shudder, her playful demeanor gone. Unaware of any misstep, he lifted her hair and looked down. “What’s wrong?”

Xia Yanran clung to his hand and replied softly, “It’s nothing, Brother Wanzhi.” Raising her head, she looked up at him. “When no one else is around, may I call you that?”

With this turn, the half of her face she’d kept hidden was revealed, and the mole beneath her right eye suddenly showed, as if a drop of ink had fallen on white paper—striking, almost jarring.

Evidently, Yun Ci was unsettled by the sight. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he reopened them, they were clear as water. He sat up unconsciously, gently guiding Xia Yanran’s face back to the pillow. He smiled, “Of course, but before others, call me ‘my lord.’”

Xia Yanran smiled sweetly, yet she realized she could not see through Yun Ci. His gentleness, his mild smile, his noble demeanor and attentive care were all present—yet always made her anxious. It felt as if she basked in borrowed light—close enough to touch, but never truly hers.

She tucked her face into the bedding. “I didn’t go to pay respects to Mother today. Will she be angry?”

“No. She told me to take good care of you.” Yun Ci’s voice deepened, as if displeased.

Xia Yanran fluttered her lashes and asked in a low voice, “Brother Wanzhi, perhaps I should ask Mother to let Chuxiu serve in your rooms?”

“What did you say?” Yun Ci’s voice fell upon her like a sky of storm clouds—oppressive and cold.

Xia Yanran froze, unsure what she’d said wrong. Trembling, she peeked from under the covers. “Don’t you like her?”

He pressed his lips together. “Who told you that?”

She bit her lip in grievance. “I’d only heard you brought back a beautiful maid from Jingzhou, but yesterday I saw—she looks so much like me…” Her eyes filled with tears. “Brother Wanzhi, my heart aches. Is there any part of your affection for Chuxiu that’s because of me?”

At this, Yun Ci fell silent for a long time. “You are my wife; don’t let your thoughts wander.”

Relieved, Xia Yanran let out a breath. “Then what is it you feel for Chuxiu?”

“Do you mind?”

“What wife wouldn’t?” she replied softly.

“Pinyan…” Yun Ci’s tone was steady and resolute. “I will not take her into my rooms.” Then, lest she doubt, he added, “Not as a concubine or a companion. She will never be that.”

“But I heard… you brought her back from Jingzhou, and when she was ill with the fever, you stayed by her side night after night, lowering yourself to care for her.” Xia Yanran gazed at him, her eyes bright with jealousy and wistfulness.

She watched him closely; he narrowed his eyes, as if recalling the past. Xia Yanran found herself lost in his expression—longing and clear, the same look that had made her fall helplessly in love with him the first day they met.

Back then, he had been only thirteen or fourteen; she, two years younger.

She waited for his answer, with the same persistence that had led her to marry him—a heart honed over years, not easily discouraged.

At last, Yun Ci answered, sorrow and regret in his voice: “Chuxiu and I… it was a mistake…”

At this, Xia Yanran was finally satisfied. “I misspoke—do not blame me, Brother Wanzhi.”

“It’s not your fault… I have not explained well.” He went on, “She’s been unwell lately, so I permitted her to rest. Don’t dwell on it.”

This answer was enough to reassure her. She trusted him—her Brother Wanzhi was a man of his word; she had seen it countless times before. The three characters “Zhi Yan Pavilion” were proof enough.

“In that case, why don’t you assign Chuxiu to me? We look alike, so it’s fate. I like her very much,” Xia Yanran ventured. She admitted she was uneasy about the woman. Letting Chuxiu remain by Yun Ci’s side in the tranquil Cleansed Heart Study, in such an environment—who could guarantee old feelings would not rekindle? Even if Yun Ci could restrain himself, who could say what Chuxiu might do?

Seeing Yun Ci hesitate, Xia Yanran tried to persuade him. “I brought so few servants from home. Yesterday, when I was unwell, I had to trouble Danxin to tend to me. Chuxiu is so capable—if you assign her to me, then if you ever wish to see her, it would be easy to ask for her back, and surely Mother would not object.”

At this, Yun Ci’s brows furrowed. “What task would you have Chuxiu do?”

She pretended to consider. “I wouldn’t have the heart to give her heavy work. Why not let her attend to my daily needs, like Qian Yun serves you?”

To serve her daily life, to be present morning and night in this very room, to watch Yun Ci and herself sharing their intimacy and marital joys—surely Chuxiu would find it unbearable. Xia Yanran had thought through this plan half the night, convinced of its cleverness.

But Yun Ci’s gaze turned cold, like a winter lake. “That won’t be necessary. She should remain in Cleansed Heart Study.”

Xia Yanran’s heart skipped, fearing her ploy had been seen through. She quickly replied, “Of course, your needs come first. If you think it unsuitable, I’ll find someone else.”

“Mm.” Yun Ci said nothing more, rising from the bed. “There is much to do today. Rest well. If you need anything, send for me at Cleansed Heart Study.”

Obediently, Xia Yanran nodded, trying to rise to see him off but was stopped. “Lie down. Only get up when you’re well, or you’ll have another headache tonight.”

She smiled and did not insist.

Without a ripple on his face, Yun Ci turned to leave. He had already stepped out the door when he paused, and, through the screen, said, “I have changed my mind. Once Chuxiu has rested until next month, I will assign her to you.”