Chapter 51: Sighing at the Fleeting Nature of Love

Yun Ci ultimately brushed his sleeves and left without uttering a word.

“We are all mother and son—why must you press the Marquis so hard?” After Yun Ci departed, Nurse Chi’s heart ached for him. She had raised Yun Ci with her own hands, and seeing mother and son so estranged, she could not help but sigh.

The Dowager, however, remained expressionless. All trace of composure, coldness, resignation, and exhaustion vanished from her face as she merely fingered the prayer beads in her hand and said, “There is no choice but to press him. Even if not for Chu Xiu, this marriage cannot be delayed any longer. With his constitution, if we wait a few more years, there may be no heir at all.”

Upon hearing this, Nurse Chi felt even more pained. “There’s bitterness in the Marquis’s heart... At the very least, you should grant Chu Xiu a place as concubine…”

“A place?” The Dowager’s voice suddenly turned cold. “She is a woman of the dust, no longer pure—how can she be given any status? Such disgrace to the family name of the Yun clan cannot be allowed.”

With these words, she sighed deeply and continued, “If it were a lesser noble family or a humble house, letting him take Chu Xiu as a concubine might be possible. But this is the Yun family. He is first the Marquis of Lixin, and only then my son…”

Even if she had to drive her only son to desperation, Xie Miaodan could not let the Yun family’s legacy and honor fall in her generation.

“If I am not resolute now, how will we ever face our ancestors after a hundred years?” The Dowager had weathered many storms in her life and long understood that she was not destined for ‘affection’—whether love or kinship, all withered like leaves in the wind.

Her existence was for glory, status, and reputation. It seemed her whole life was devoted to nothing else.

“Miss…” Nurse Chi, having witnessed all the joys and sorrows in the Yun household, could not help but feel for the mistress she had served for over thirty years. Unintentionally, she called out the Dowager’s maiden title.

The Dowager glanced at her coolly. “It’s been thirty years, and you still can’t change your address.”

Nurse Chi laughed at herself, a hint of self-mockery in her tone. “The old woman misspoke… When does Madam intend to arrange for the Marquis’s marriage?”

“The sooner, the better.” The Dowager replied without hesitation. “Now that my son has only just learned of matters between men and women, this is a rare opportunity. In this regard, the Yun family owes Chu Xiu some thanks. If not for her, who knows when my son would have approached women at all.”

“Yes, a willow planted unintentionally yet grows into shade,” Nurse Chi agreed.

“It’s just a pity about Qian Yun.” The Dowager lowered her eyes to her beads, the fine wrinkles at her temples betraying disappointment and miscalculation. “Originally, she was to be trained as a personal servant, with a chance to be elevated as a concubine in the future. Even before she was assigned to Zhiyan Pavilion, she was taught about relations between men and women… But man proposes, heaven disposes.”

“Miss Qian Yun hasn’t been well these days either. I’ve heard the Marquis treats her coldly,” Nurse Chi reported.

At this, the Dowager only sighed softly. “That is why I said it’s a pity. The child is too stubborn, and I placed too much hope in her, pushing her too hard.”

“Perhaps… bring her back to serve you again?” Nurse Chi ventured cautiously.

This time, the Dowager seemed to consider it seriously. After a moment’s thought, she said, “Let it be; let her stay in Zhiyan Pavilion. I fear even if she returns, her heart will not.”

“You see things so clearly.”

“It’s because I see things clearly that I dare to administer this bitter medicine, and order my son to marry Xia Yanran.” At last, the Dowager allowed a faint smile and looked at Nurse Chi. “Do you know why, when he moved out to live alone at thirteen, he named his residence ‘Zhiyan Pavilion’?”

“Why?”

“Xia Yanran’s childhood name is ‘Pinyan.’”

With a soft click, the Dowager placed her beads on the table, making an important decision. “To prevent any unforeseen changes, the wedding preparations must begin immediately. Prepare the carriage—I will go to the Prince Mu’s estate myself and invite Prince Mu to act as matchmaker.”

***

After leaving Rongjintang, Yun Ci remained silent, his brows knit in thought. He had not expected his mother to resent Chu Xiu so deeply, even to the point of threatening her life to force him into marriage.

What was truly desperate was that he had no way to counter her. Faced with his mother’s coercion, he was utterly powerless.

He did not doubt his mother’s resolve. Even if she did not truly mean to take Chu Xiu’s life, she would certainly discipline or humiliate her with cold words.

With Chu Xiu’s temperament, if she truly faced his mother’s censure, it would be worse than death.

If only he had not been poisoned by the love toxin… if only he could give Chu Xiu a child to secure her place…

But how could one foresee the future?

“Go and see what Chu Xiu is doing,” Yun Ci sighed softly, instructing Zhuying. As they approached the courtyard where the maids lived, he changed his mind. “Take me back to Qingxin Studio. Summon her to serve me.”

If he truly had to marry another, why expose Chu Xiu to others’ ridicule?

A short while later, Yun Ci entered the study of Qingxin Studio, with Chu Xiu following behind.

It was already the third quarter past Shen hour. The early summer days were short, and the nights long, so daylight still lingered. Yet Yun Ci wished the room were darker, heavier, as though only in such gloom could he hide the weight of his heart.

Never before had he felt so guilty and lacking in confidence toward anyone: first raising her to the clouds, now casting her into hell. Even if forced, he could not forgive himself.

Such helplessness and regret made him rue the moment his feelings had begun. At least, if she had remained indifferent, her life would have been safe. Now, she was poisoned within, threatened without, and her reputation dragged down as well.

“My lord, you look unwell,” Chu Xiu asked softly, concern in her voice. “Is your leg troubling you? Shall I call Physician Qu?”

“No need.” Yun Ci instinctively reached for Chu Xiu’s hand, barely brushing her fingertips before withdrawing. He looked up at her, trying to remember every nuance of her shyness and longing. Whether in perfect harmony or in intimate embrace, she was always so vivid, as if it had happened only yesterday.

How to speak? However roundabout, his words would only wound her. Yun Ci suppressed his feelings, his voice betraying nothing. “Chu Xiu, I am to be married.”

He sensed the gentle, graceful presence beside him grow stiff. Yun Ci wanted to explain and comfort her, but found no words. Should he tell her of the love poison? That she could not bear a child? Or that his mother could not accept her, and would resort to extreme measures?

Would that not be another wound? It would only make her heartbroken, and add humiliation, self-doubt, and… fear.

“Chu Xiu…” He could only call her softly, all his thoughts condensed into a single sentence: “I have responsibilities I cannot shirk.”

After a long silence, she let out a quiet laugh—one that did not sound forced, but carried its own bitterness. “Was it this marriage that you wished to speak of, yet hesitated?”

Yun Ci’s heart clenched. He did not know whether to admit or deny it. He could only listen as she continued quietly,

“I never sought to stand at your side, only to serve you for as long as I could…”

“With someone as lowly as myself, I never dared hope for more. I only wish a noble lady of fine appearance and family may be matched with you…”

“My lord, rest assured—I know my place and will keep to it. When the new mistress enters the household, she will be my mistress as well.”

She had spoken sincerely. With Yun Ci’s status and position, how could he not marry? How could he go without an heir? She had never dreamed that a woman of the mud could stand alongside an exiled immortal, much less after two nights of his favor, which was already the highest grace.

Though there was a trace of bitterness in her heart, she was clear-eyed.

Only now did Chu Xiu truly understand what it meant to love with all her heart.

In the past, when she had been so close with Helian Qi, it was not without motive. She coveted his vows, his sweet promises, hoping that he would redeem her and give her the title of concubine. Even if he later married a primary wife, she believed she would still receive his lifelong favor and thus remain by his side with honor.

But now, after meeting Yun Ci, she realized she could be so selfless. She did not seek wealth, status, or even dare hope to bear him children. All she wished for was a place in Zhiyan Pavilion, to serve him day after day, tending to his ink and paper. As long as she could see him, be near him, that was enough for a lifetime.

She loved him wholeheartedly, selflessly, yet humbly. For the sake of this love, even bitterness could become sweet, and sorrow could turn to joy.

Chu Xiu knew she should smile at this moment. She was deeply grateful that, during her days at Drunken Flower House, Madam Feng had taught her to always greet others with a smile. She did not know if her smile could move Yun Ci, but at least she convinced herself.

It was contentment, and also a blessing; sincerity, and also honesty.

“My lord need not concern yourself with my situation or feelings. I am still Chu Xiu, still within Zhiyan Pavilion. So long as neither you nor your new wife mind, may I remain here to serve you?”

She asked this with the utmost care. Yun Ci felt even more powerless as he heard it.

“The Xia family is a lineage of scholars stretching back a thousand years… In terms of family glory, their history surpasses even the Yun clan.” After a pause, Yun Ci continued, “Most precious of all, the Xia family has never entered officialdom. This is much like the Yun family’s tradition of staying out of politics. The Yun clan holds sensitive positions in both north and south, and as merchants, my father was eager to find a scholarly family to mask the increasing scent of commerce… In fact, Miss Xia and I have been betrothed since childhood.”

“Such a match is all the more rare.” Chu Xiu smiled, her expression gentle as the early summer breeze. “One is ‘Cloud,’ the other ‘Summer’—how could they not be well matched?”

“Is that your true feeling?” he asked seriously.

“Yes, my true feeling,” she replied, equally earnest.

Yun Ci fell silent, memories stirring of Xia Yanran’s voice calling him “Brother Wanzhi.” “Chu Xiu, Miss Xia and I…”

“My lord need not say more. I understand.” She still smiled, her eyes bright as jewels, dazzling to the point of pain. As if she had never been wronged, never suffered a broken heart.

“I only hope you’ll understand when you see her,” Yun Ci said obliquely, his words trailing off, fearing to wound her again, fearing she would be utterly disheartened.

…

The Marquis of Lixin’s mansion had not seen such bustle in many years. The entire household was swept and decorated with red banners; servants received double pay, and managers from all branches distributed red envelopes. Family members from various branches sent their congratulations.

The Dowager ordered the banquet hall beside Yinxing and Zuoyue Gardens to be doubled in size, connecting it with two adjoining courtyards, so that the five hundred seats could be expanded to a thousand to accommodate all the guests.

The betrothal, engagement, exchange of gifts, and the setting of the wedding date—all were completed with astonishing speed. By the time the banquet hall’s expansion was finished, a hundred days had passed, and it was exactly one month before the wedding. It was also at this time that Yun Xian and Luan Qing returned to Yanlan City.